How to build your confidence back after a breakup
The ending of a relationship can be really hard. And not all the time does it end with both people wishing each other the best in their lives. Sometimes your ex may say things to hurt your deliberately or unintentionally because they are hurting inside. Yet this still affects us, and can make our dating life after difficult and full of insecurity. How do we build our confidence back up so we can have a positive dating experience?
When I got divorced 7 years ago, my ex told me I would never find anyone who would be a good as him. This was particularly hard because I was the one trying to reconcile at the time and he was done. So I was left with rejection from the man who said he would love me forever and a "curse" on my head that I would never find anything better
So I did what any self-respecting person in their 20's would do and I tried to find someone I deemed as better than him to prove him wrong. The problem with this, was my ex was still in my head all the time, telling me I wasn't good enough and I was still second class and second choice. Because of these insecurities I had, I attracted men who would use and abuse me, ghost me, one night stands, and just be rude.
Finally when I had been dumped by a guy who I was clearly out of his league, I decided this needed to change and I decided to start focusing on myself rather than trying to get a guy!!!:)
This lead me to the place where I am now, where I have amazing relationships with men, get to date any man I want, and most importantly feel amazing about myself and how I live my life!!!
In this process of building my confidence back up, I learned some crucial things that would have short cut my process and saved me a lot of pain and despair!!!
First no one is better than anyone else, we are all the same, and the only difference is finding the best person for you!!!
Second My opinion about my life is the only one that matters and if I believe in what my ex is saying, I am giving him control over my life.
Third there are always 2 ways to view things, a positive way towards yourself and a negative way towards yourself, which ever one you choose to focus on will be the one that becomes true for you. Therefore it does you no good to focus on the negative because the positive can also be true if you choose it to be.
Example: "I choose to believe I will attract a man who is the best for me and I will have an incredible amazing relationship with him."
This feels so much better than: "I will never find anyone as good as my ex."
Building your confidence right now in the moment is the most important thing for you to do, so . you can believe in the positives of your situation.
So my biggest tip for you hear is to ask yourself: "What can I do right now in this moment to feel confident or happy?" And go do that thing, keep asking and keep doing until you feel better, then focus on the positive outcome that you want!!!
You are amazing and no one can have power over you unless you let them. You ex is not worthy of having any power over you, no one is!!!
You are important and you do matter and you deserve to have anything and everything that you want in a relationship!!!
Watch the video below (about 10 min) . I give a few extra tips in here!!!:)
Lots of Love,
P.S. For those of you lovely ladies wanting to transform how you think about yourself and the type of men you attract into you life, Check out my program Attract the Man you Want!!! It's a 3 month program with everything I wish I had learned when I first started dating again after divorce!!! Lets save you the trial and error time and actually get the guy you want!!!