Powerful Women attracting Powerful Men
Powerful Alpha females have a couple things in common. We like to be in control and we get stuff done. No one can tell us what we can and can’t have, we decide and we make it happen. We find a way no matter what it takes, there is no giving up. We take care of ourselves, we know ourselves. We are not afraid to take risks, put ourselves out there and do things that other people will not.
And if you are an alpha female looking for love, one of the main requirements is a man who feels powerful to you. A Man who takes charge and makes you feel like a woman, like you are taken care of, like you can rely on him, and that he wants and desires you. The reason you want this in a man is so you can feel feminine, so you can relax, so you can enjoy other parts of life, and so you can turn off. There would be no point in having a man who doesn’t take charge. You already have the ability to make it all happen. You don’t need him for that, you already are responsible for make your dreams come true.
I work with strong powerful women and the biggest complaint that I hear is: “He’s just not stepping up, He’s not acting like a man, He’s not taking charge” and they find this across the board with men they date. Or the guy stepped up in the beginning and now he’s totally slacking off and they don’t know why. We want the strong alpha male, who dominates in his life, takes his equal responsibility in the relationship, so we can be in partnered bliss
So as a powerful go getter woman, how do we actually get the men to step up?
The answer is, We let him step up, we expect him to step up, and we treat him as if he is the alpha male man we want.
I’m going to give you a series of steps to take in your interactions with men that will change how men view you, and inspire them to step up and pursue you.
Step 1: Slow down and get present
You have a lot to do and you are constantly thinking about how you can get stuff done all the time right? I’m going to have you consciously block times where you are on and when you are off. You need to be able to be in your head and you need to be able to be in your body. If you are always in your head, there is no space for the man at all. You will feel like another man to him. So you are good at multitasking, well I’m going to have you focus just a little bit better now.
When you are walking from place to place I am going to have you focus on nothing but your walk, the air around you, how your body is feeling and enjoy being in the moment right then. No thoughts about your next meeting or what you need to get done that day, just be completely present with what is right then. This will help you get better at shifting from being in your head to being in your body which is an essential skill if you want to attract a man to take charge. You are going to have to get good at doing that on the spot.
What being present does, is it allows possibilities for other things to be created, rather than you doing everything. It allows you to see the man, it allows you to experience him, it allows him to experience you and it allows the desire in him to grow to pursue you, because he feels a space to do so. Men pursue what feels good to them.
This doesn’t mean that you turn off all the time, you can’t, you have things to do and your powerful man is going to want a woman who has all those things going. (Being good at managing your schedule will come in handy) What he wants to see is that you can turn off and be his woman, and allow him to take care and direct you. (Otherwise there is no reason for him to direct, cause you will do it and you don’t give him the opportunity to. Powerful men love to direct so if you take that away from him, he will end up leaving.)
So here are a few good places to practice turning off and getting present:
-In line at any store. This is a great place to meet guys, and one of the best places to start conversation
-any time you are walking, eyes up look around, be present to who is there
-any time you are in conversation with a guy that is non business related
Step 2: Accept the powerful directive of men
Where we discourage men from doing things for us and taking control, is we shoot them down when they do. Example a guy asks you out, and you say you are busy. Or a guy suggests a place to go and you don’t like the suggestion. Guy tries to open up a door for you and you say, “No I got it.”
There is a way to empower him to make choices that please you and still allow him to take control the way you want him too.
Example you are really busy and he asks you out. Instead of telling him you are really busy, which leaves no space for him, tell him when you can go out! Example: “I’ve got a couple hours on Saturday around 2pm I would love to go out with you, will that work?” This does a couple things, one: It schedules the date. Two: it lets him know you have a life. Three: It makes him feel good that you want to have him in your life. (Don’t say things like I can fit you in, or I’m so busy, just state when works for you and express how you want to see him.) (Guys want to feel wanted as well)
Also start noticing when men are offering to do things for you. Does a guy offer to help you carry something or open your door? It doesn’t matter who the guy is, start accepting men helping you out!!! Allow yourself to be spoiled, allow them to do more than you think they should. Don’t worry about putting them out, if they offered, they are ok with it and just make sure you show lots of gratitude for them. You are giving them a gift by allowing them to help you out!!!
Step 3: Expecting Men to Show up and be Men
When we have negative beliefs that men don’t step up, they tend to follow through with what we believe. So the next conscious step is to start believing they will. How you do that is to:
Get clear on the ways you would like men to step it up.
Example: You would like the guy to ask you out.
Identify any negative beliefs that would keep what you want from happening
Example negative belief: “No guys are asking me out”
Disprove the negative belief
Example: Look for examples of men asking women out, And when you see it, say to yourself, “see men ask women out!!!” Even if its a guy you don’t want to go out with that asks you out identify it and say, “see, guys ask me out”
Act as if what you want is happening
Example Action: You trust that he will ask you out. (trust is very active!!! It’s a lot harder than asking him out yourself.) This could look like at the end of the conversation, having space where you look at him with enjoyment and interest and you give him the opportunity to ask you out and you believe that he will. It’s like having a knowing that, of course he would ask you out. And if he doesn’t ask you out in that moment, that doesn’t mean anything, because you are believing that he will or someone even better will. You need to tell yourself over and over until it happens in your reality that “Men you like, ask you out” It has no choice but to show up in your reality if you truly believe it!!!
Step 4: Keep the focus on yourself and how you are feeling
The fastest way alpha women push away powerful men, is we stop focusing on how incredible we are and we focus on how incredible they are and how we can get them. There is a delicate balance between feeling great with a man and pushing to get more of that great feeling from the man.
As go getter women once we see something we want, we go for it all in. Powerful men feel the same way and they love to go for what they want as well. Where things get off is we have a great time with the man, and then we associate that good feeling as if the man gave it to us. Where in reality we are the ones who created the good feeling through the preparations we had made leading up to the event. We were in a good mood, we were open, we were excited, we felt sexy, we felt like we were desired, we had great communication, we got along, we loved ourselves and completely owned ourselves in the moment. All these things make up the amazing time we had with the man. None of it is him doing anything, he merely got to witness you in this amazing state, which a complete honor for him to do.
Now a powerful man will choose after this time if he wants to see you in that state again, depending on how it made him feel and how much he wants that in his life at this moment. And if he chooses he will make it happen again. We cannot control that decision. Sometimes guys will act slower than we want and because of that it's harder for us to get into our excited state like we were before. In that case, there is a misalignment between what you want and what your guy wants. And when there is misalignment there is nothing you can do to convince him to get on your timeline. All you can do is focus on how you feel, you feeling your best no matter what. It’s like the relationship with your best friend, it doesn’t matter how long you have been apart you always have a great time together, and you don’t freak out if you don’t see them all the time or if they don’t call you back right away. There is trust there that you will have an amazing time when you see them and you always do.
That is how you need to be around the men you feel great around. When you have that kind of trust with the powerful men you are attracted to they will feel it and if they are aligned they will make the move.
Also there is a concept of when you lean away and focus on yourself you become more attractive, because it shows you must really care about you, and therefore other people tend to care about you too.
This is probably the hardest thing to do when you become interested in someone, because our natural instinct is to get what we want, so why would we focus on ourselves? And what exactly do we do when we focus on ourselves?
How to focus on yourself:
Get out of your head and into your body. That’s why I have you practice it in step 1
How are you feeling right now?
What do you desire right now?
What can you do to fulfill your desire yourself right now?
What would bring you joy right now?
Keep it about you.
What do you do when you focus on yourself?
You think about things that bring you joy and excitement. And then you do them, whatever they may be.
How do you know you are not focusing on yourself?
When you start to feel fear and worry and you go down a rabbit hole thinking about a guy. You should be thinking about him about as much as you think of your best friend. Obviously the more he is around you and doing things with you the more he will cross your mind, but just like you don’t obsess over your best friend or worry about them too much, that is how you think about your guy.
When you are in your head, you cannot feel yourself and when you cannot feel yourself, your man cannot feel you either. And a Powerful Man wants to be with a woman who feels, loves and owns herself.
Step 5: Set your standards and keep them
Know what you are available for and what you are not. You are a powerful amazing woman and you expect to be treated well, so if someone is not living up to those standards you need to let them go, no matter how gorgeous or rich they are.
I could write a whole blog just on this one point, but simply put, if something feels off, you speak up about it, and state how it makes you feel and then you state how you want to feel.
Speaking your truth is super important, even if the truth is: “I feel confused and something feels off” That kind of communication gets to the bottom of a lot of things.
Step 6: The Let go and Surprise
Finally the last step!!! The only thing on this planet that you can control is yourself. You cannot control the outcome no matter what actions you took. When you can be ok with that, you open up the space for what you want, to come to you. When you focus on it so hard and have a strangle hold of it in your mind, it will be forever elusive to you.
Let go, free your mind from thinking about it!!! Trust and know that it is coming to you, and if it’s not exactly what you were imagining, it is something better. The universe is on your side working in your favor to give you the best life possible!!! Let yourself be surprised by the amazing things that it can bring you, that you couldn’t have even imagined yourself!!!
This, my dear, is how you as a powerful woman attract powerful men. The work is all inside of you and allowing him the space to pursue you. You can do it, practice as much as you can until it becomes natural. You are right, where you are at is perfect right now. There is nothing that you need to change about yourself. And you will change every single day. Trust and Relax. He’s coming, He’s right there, He’s going to love and cherish you because you love and cherish yourself!!!
Check out this video, I start by answering the questions should you text or call him and I go into how powerful women attract powerful men. There are some amazing tips in this video and its super empowering for you powerful women who want to attract men they want.
Lots of Love,
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