The difference between hooking and chasing a guy

Last weekend I went to Vegas for my friends' wedding.  I traveled solo, so I got a lot of time practicing attracting men and figuring out what was going on when I was having trouble doing so.

A lot of the time I was by myself because I decided to stay at a different hotel from the rest of the wedding party, so I had to overcome the block of feeling a little lonely as I was making my way around the fabulous resort I was staying at.  There were times when I felt confident and amazing, like when I was going to the gym. And there were other times when I was feeling a little unsure of myself, like when I was going out to lunch or dinner myself. The times when I felt super confident, I had no problem striking up conversations with strangers and talking with guys.  I didn’t care what the guys said back to me, and was not worried about them inviting me to go do things with them cause I was feeling great about what I was doing and who I was in that moment. And if I had wanted them to accompany me any of those guys would have.

The other times when I was feeling a little self-conscious doing things by myself I noticed I had desperate, needy energy to me, men did not come up and talk to me and I did not have the courage to feel confident talking to them.  (And when I say desperate needy energy, I mean I wanted someone else to make me feel better, to make the move and come “save” me.) This is the energy I feel like a lot of single women have when they are out “Looking for a guy”. And believe me its really hard not to have feelings of insecurity around you when everything is not exactly the way you want it to be.  And you are perfect where you are at right now. In fact, that is why I work with women is to help them notice their patterns and give them strategies to get out of the patterns that are keeping the men away from them. This energy of feeling insecure and not enough or wanting someone to come to save you is a “chasing energy” and it keeps men away from making the move towards you.

There is also the physical chasing energy of approaching guys and asking them out, however, I have found that physical actions do not always mean the same thing.  I can ask a guy out in an attractive way, and I can ask a guy out in a chasing way, it is all determined by my energy. So that is why I like to focus on energy when coaching people.  And the way you can figure out your energy is by noticing your thoughts and your feelings at the moment.

Energetics of Chasing

  1. You are not really enjoying yourself because you do not have a guy with you. (pity party)

  2. Actively looking for someone and not having fun on your own without the guy (not present with what is going on with you, or not caring about what is going on with you)

  3. Feeling insecure because you are alone, judging yourself and thinking thoughts like: I’m not pretty enough, I don’t look cool enough, my energy is off, etc.

  4. Doubting yourself in any way,

  5. Looking for the guy to validate that you are ok (if he just comes and talks to me then I’m ok)

  6. Feeling like a guy is better than you, or being focused on one guy coming over and talking to you (the guy is where the party is at, not with me)

Even if you aren’t doing physical actions of chasing if you have any of the energetics of chasing you will not have men coming up to ask you out.  And to be honest you are a human being, so there will be times that you feel a little insecure and get into chasing energy and that is totally fine.  The key is to recognize and then take the steps to get out of it.

Steps to getting out of chasing energy into an attractive energy

  1. Recognize that you are feeling a little insecure and you want someone to “save” you.

  2. Take a deep breath, show yourself some love, it’s ok that you feel that way

  3. Acknowledge that you are amazing and you can do it

  4. Find the thing that is going to make you feel like the queen or badass at that moment

An example from this weekend of me doing this, was after I went out to dinner, I was alone walking around the stores.  I was feeling a little self-conscious about being by myself all dressed up and had a hard time talking to anyone. Then I saw a store that caught my eye, it was Rene Caovilla with the most amazing sparkly shoes.  And I love sparkles, so I decided to go into the store. What I did was talk with the shop girl when she approached me, and because she was nice, I got a little courage back and then I was trying on these amazing shoes!!!  After a while, I was feeling like a queen again and was able to go out and confidently enjoy the rest of my evening. Interestingly, as I was trying on shoes, a lot of other people came into the store and wanted to try on shoes as well cause they could see how much fun I was having!!!  (I was where the party was at:))

The things that are the most important in the energy of attracting guys to you

  1. Feeling like you are the most important person and that, of course, the other person would want to talk to you/be around you

  2. Having fun on your own, you are where the party is at and of course, everyone else wants to join your party, cause yours is the best around!!!

  3. Being indifferent to whether or not a certain guy comes to your party or not, (Remember you are where the most fun is)

Now once you have attracted them and you decide that this person is someone you want to spend more time with.  Now you get to hook them. Hooking a guy means that he wants to hang out with you, he invites you on a date, he invites you to his table, he buys you a drink, etc.  Hooking a guy is a process you start with getting the first date and invite and then you continue to hook him as you get further into the relationship.

From what I noticed there are a few simple energetic and tactical tricks to hooking a guy.

  1. Be unattached to whether or not the guy stays around you.  You are going to have fun no matter what with or without him

  2. Challenging him in some type of way.  

    1. It's not as serious as it sounds.  It's simple as what is something he needs to do to gain your favor?

      1. I like using things like “Do you want to dance with me?”  “Would you get a drink for me?”

  3. Rewarding him when he does something that you like.

    1. Rewards can be things as simple as a great smile, flirtatious eye contact, compliments, and physical touch

  4. Pulling away and ignoring when he is not paying attention to you.  This looks like you have better things to do than wait around for him to pay attention to you.  You are the party and deserve to be treated like the most important person there. And if you are not you will not tolerate being treated as less and will find a place where you do feel the most important.

    1. I used this a lot to give some space between the guy and me, I’ll flirt with other men and other women at those times.  (This shows that I can take care of myself and I am desired by other people, which makes the man want you even more.)

    2. And then when my guy comes back to me I reward him with my attention.

    3. Don’t make the guy wrong for leaving you, that just looks like insecurity, instead, you should expect it and its a chance for you to feel that you are the object of desire and that the party is the best with you.

  5. Make your guy feel special.

    1. (When there is the pull away and I go flirt with other people, I’m not trying to hook them like I am my man.  There is a difference in the way I’m flirting with them. For example, when I talk with other people I may be using smiles and compliments, but when my man comes, he gets my hand on his shoulder or around his arm, and an even bigger smile.  He needs to know that yes he is the one you want, but only when he’s acting in the way that you want him to, by paying you attention.)

  6. Using your intuition to determine whats the best way to act then.  (Remember feeling like you are the object of desire is the most important thing that you can remember to do and know that you are.)

  7. Finally, continue to enjoy yourself finding and doing the things that make you happy with or without him

The most important thing to remember when you are single and wanting to attract someone you like who will treat you like a queen is that you are good enough to date anyone and they would be so lucky to date you!!!

The more often and the more people you allow yourself to feel like the badass around, the higher quality guys you will attract to you who want to treat you amazingly and feel so lucky to be in your presence.

The thing I love about the way that I coach women, is I take them where they are at energetically and I give them the exercises to get to the next level of attraction with men.  I’m the personal trainer for your love life, and I see where you are at now, I look at where you want to be. And I can see the things that are standing in your way. I give you the steps and the motivation to overcome them and get you there much quicker than you could on your own.

I have lots of different ways people can get my fabulous life-changing dating knowledge.  I have my free content, which people can access through my Instagram, Facebook Lives, Youtube, newsletter, and blog.  And then I have my paid content that will take you through a specific transformation. In my paid content I have digital programs which give you the step by step to solve a specific dating issue, and then I have my group coaching and one on one coaching where I work with your energy and motivate you to take the necessary steps to achieve the love life you want.

Right now I am so stoked to be offering a one on one first time call with me!!!  This is similar to a trial workout that a personal trainer might offer you. In this call we do go over where you are at right now and where you want to be in your dating life, I help you get clear on your very next step to take to get the love life you want and what you need to continue to do to get there.  Then I show you how I can help get you there quicker.

Every call I have with someone makes a shift in their dating life.  I always hear afterward things like: “Hey I just got asked out on a date.”  or “Now that guy started talking to me.” or “There is a new guy that is absolutely amazing”  And that’s just after on call with me, when they had been having months even years of frustration!!!

So I know that one hour with me is going to shift your dating life!!!  I don’t believe in coaching for free, because I have so much free content, but because this session is a first time session with me, I do discount it to make it more like a trial session.  The cost of this one-hour session is $250. To take advantage of this great deal go to click on Work with Liz and Apply to Work with Liz to get the opportunity for this one-time session with Liz!!!

Remember, you are the most amazing woman on this planet!!!  You are so beautiful and lovely and a complete joy to be around!!!  You deserve to have and be treated the best!!! There is nothing wrong with you and you have done nothing wrong.  All that matters right now is the present moment and you can change anything to be the way you want it to be in the present moment!!!  Have Faith Lady and Good Luck!!!

Lots of Love,


Watch this Video to get the story in person of my story in Vegas and my Saturday Night Clubbing experience!!!